Self Harm Evaluation
Age?
16
Sex?
Female
Label yourself (prep, goth, druggie, weirdo, etc)
druggie, weirdo, helper, dreamer, fucked up, weaky
How long have you been cutting?
Since i'm 11 or 12 i'm cutting, but i bite, scratch, hit and squeeze parts of my body since i'm 7 or 8
Favorite tool?
Blades
Where (place) do you cut (school, home, etc.)?
At home i guess, i don't like cutting anywhere else so much
Do you have to wear long-sleeves & long-pants all the time?
Maybe i should, but i don't
Do you cut on your stomach, or chest?
No
Are your legs, arms, & other body parts covered in scars?
Left arm, right leg
What’s your favorite excuse to use when someone asks about a cut?
It's old
Have you ever been hospitalized because of your cutting?
No
When was the last time you cut?
Today, i guess.
Off the top of your head, about how many scars do you have?
About 400+
Do you have (diagnosed) depression, and/or bipolar/bpd?
middle hard depressions, suspicion of borderline personality disorder
Who knows you cut?
Everybody, people are talking too much.
Have you ever been caught cutting?
Yes
Have your parents ever confronted you about a bloody sleeve, or towel?
Yeah, hate it
Did you have a good childhood?
Well, more or less. I've never been a ''child'', i allways thought about suicide, sense of live, running away, get raped, kill my parents or other people. My Family were always upset because of anything, my parents got seperatet, my grandma died painful and slow because of cancer. And other things like this.
Why do you cut?
It's like the best feeling ever, it's like sex. On my MDMA trip i just laid on the floor and enjoy'd the blood puring. It makes me feel less weak. It makes me feel less alive. It's something that is really just mine, where nobody can controll anything. I'm addicted as fuck.
Have you ever talked to a therapist or counselor?
Since i cutted the first time, but i started to lie. So it makes no sense for me to go there.
Do you want to stop cutting (but can’t because of addiction)?
Yes and No. I found someone who gives me a better feeling than cutting, but he lives 350 km away from me, and promised him not to cut but i don't know if i can stay my arms clean when i'm so lonely without him again.
I want to forget how good it feel. How can i say, addiction makes you want to cut. I don't know if i want to stop. I want to stop beeing addicted.
Do you like cutting?
It's superlative
How many times have you tried to commit suicide?
I don't know if it counts if you try to smother yourself with a pilow as a 13 year old, lol.
What are your views on cutting, and other self-injury?
It destroys, it makes people cold. I don't want other people to do it, but it's nearly impossible for me to stop it.
Do you like watching movies with self-injury?
Sure
Do you like looking at pictures of self-injury?
Yeah
Do you sometimes envy other people (non-self-injurers)
Sometimes
Have you ever taken any pictures of your cuts/scars?
Yes
Do you want to die?
I couldn't feel the pain anymore, i don't know. I would hurt many people by killing myself. I don't want to hurt people.
Have you ever done a school assignment on cutting, or self-injury?
We had to draw a picture of our future, well yes, i never showed it to my teacher because of all the blood and drugs in it.
What do you listen to while cutting?
I don't search special music for cutting.
Have you ever needed stitches from cutting?
No.
Do you dream about cutting?
Often.
What do you use to bandage your cuts?
Bandage or nothing
